The following are letters and emails received from
parents who have used this method of parenting. I will be adding more as soon as
I have time to collect and post them.
Elizabeth (and friends) - just to let you know what a breakthrough I have had
thanks to your web site. I have a 5 year old son and 2 1/2 year old daughter. I
have been trying to get a handle on discipline, but came to realize a couple of
months ago that my son was really out of control.
Friends did not know this, mostly. My son is smart and articulate and kind most
of the time. But I knew - he would have incredible "melt-downs" at a
mall, for example -- and he is so big I couldn't carry him out or even pick him
up. Or he would run away when I told him it was time to come indoors.
Well, I was motivated anew to seek an answer when my daughter started stuttering
a month ago. My intuition told me it was the stress between me and my son that
was causing it.
I had a real "light bulb moment" when I read "You only have to
teach your children one thing - to obey you." After just ONE DAY of
consistency and no anger or yelling on my part, and yes, a few swats, my son was
doing SO much better - just so much happier. And to my husband's and my utter
amazement, my daughter stopped stuttering the first day. It was nothing short of
Thank you, thank you, for making this so clear. It is the first time I have had
parenting explained in a compassionate, gentle way, yet one that put me in
charge where I needed to be. I have let my son run the show for 5 years, I am
sad to confess. Now I am working with him to retrain his bad attitude when he
doesn't get his way.
My own dh always had a handle on parenting and often tried to give me insight
and help, but I just didn't "get it." The first day I implemented your
simple techniques, my dh came home from work; we were eating dinner and he said,
"Who are you people? Am I in the right house?" It was that dramatic of
a change. Again, thank you.
I don't know that my dh and I really had a parenting philosophy to start out
with. I know I did have subscriptions to both Parents and Child magazines and I
would follow whatever strategies they suggested .
A breakthrough occurred to me when my oldest son was 3 and my daughter was 18
months. My son was out of control. I would be in tears at the the end of each
day. Some days I would just put my dc in their car seats and drive because I
knew they were contained. One day at the grocery store I picked up "The
Strong Willed Child". It was very helpful to me and it started to make a
difference in my son, but I still would feel awful for spanking and honestly I
would often revert back to time out or other methods.....
When I was pregnant with my 4th (I now had 3 under 4 and was expecting again!) I
picked up a copy of "Shepherding Your Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I
have no idea what made me buy that book but I can tell you it must have been the
Lord. It changed my life and our family!!
Later at a homeschool convention I found the Pearl's books and was once again
blessed and challenged on how to be a godly mother.
I can't even remember how I came across this site but I am so happy I did!!! The
main page is so full of practical info that is simple to apply and best of all
it works!!!! I believe this site "Fills in the gaps" of where the
other books leave off. I am so encouraged to be able to glean information from
such wise Christian ladies. It never seems to fail that an issue pops up with
one of my dc and I come here and it is already being addressed by someone else
going through the same thing.
Before I started applying the Biblical principles that are laid out on this site
(and in the books I mentioned) I was a phony. Everyone thought my dc were well
behaved because I would never let them be around enough to really see how they
really behaved. Today, I walk in confidence that I can take my dc anywhere and
they will be sweet, obedient and HAPPY children. They are truly a blessing
straight from heaven.
We are constantly told how wonderful our children are. I have been approached by
many mothers asking me *how* to raise godly children. I am not saying this to
brag, I know that it is by the grace of God and His Grace alone. I am not able
to go out and witness and evangelize like some people may. My mission filed is
my home and this houseful of children God has given to me. It is my prayer that
when people see my family out in the world they will see us "shining as
lights in a wicked and perverse generation" and we will be able to point
them to the source of our light JESUS.
While my parenting had always been firm & loving, it lacked the common
sense skills & the Godly attitude I have acquired since finding "A Trip
to the Woodshed" & this forum last year. (Praise the Lord!) I have been
watching my granddaughters on a daily basis since their birth; laying on my
shoulders a responsibility/influence that is usually reserved for a child's
parents. They are by my side throughout the day (10 hrs.) so that I can
immediately correct/train, teach, praise, etc. They are 5 & 3 1/2 year old
& think nothing of obeying MawMaw the FIRST time; it has become second
nature for them.
For a few months, I had been having daily episodes of a burning in my chest that
would be somewhat uncomfortable & last approx. 30 seconds. One day of last
October, the familiar burning began but, did not go away as always before.
Instead, it intensified, becoming very uncomfortable & my breathing was a
little difficult. In all, it had been happening for about 10 minutes when I
Physically, I wasn't doing well enough to put my dogs into an enclosed room
& knowing that the larger one would NEVER allow anyone in, I knew I would
have to go outside in order to receive emergency care. Had any of my other
grandchildren been here, I would NOT have stepped a foot outside my front door
knowing that I would be unable to PHYSICALLY control them & therefore put
them at risk. Had I not DILIGENTLY trained the girls to obey me, I would NOT
have risked them either but, because I have/do , I told them to get their blocks
& come w/ me. They played beside me on the porch (ok, technically not a
porch-concrete slab in front of door lol) as I waited for the ambulance. This
'porch' is approx. 2 1/2 car lengths from the street.
By the time paramedics arrived (from 5 streets away), I was on my hands &
knees because of the discomfort & stressful breathing. Come to find out, I
had a 90% blockage in an artery & a blood clot had settled there, blocking
blood flow to a third of my heart. What literally saved me at the time, was the
nitroglycerin the paramedics had IMMEDIATELY given me, because it dilated the
vessels & it returned the blood flow.
Ladies, if I had not taken seriously, the Godly wisdom that has been freely
shared here, DILIGENTLY (there's that word again) invested in training these
little girls, (3 & 4 at that time) I would have been unable to trust in
their obedience (they would have been at risk because of the street) & I
would NOT have gone outside where the paramedics could attend to me immediately
but would have remained in the house; assuring a very good chance that they
would have been unable to get to me in time...because of the dogs.
Okay, I'm not very good at expressing myself so, this will probably be my only
post for another year. Lol! Anyway, I want you all to know that my life has been
greatly influenced by you all; your love, wisdom, the openness in which you
humbly & willingly share even your shortcomings is both uplifting &
inspirational to me. I pray that God blesses you.
I found this site when my 14 month old daughter was about 2 months old. I have
been blessed to learn about these techniques from the get-go and while I hear
countless stories of other moms having little to no control over their babies'
behavior I feel as though we have total control. My daughter understands the
word no and knows that we are the authority. She knows to stay in the same room
with me, so no need to put up gates everywhere to contain her....which is
AWESOME now considering she just started walking 4 days ago!
What I think is really funny is a lot of people tell us how "lucky" we
are that our daughter is so good. It's like she is magically this baby who
doesn't touch the things she shouldn't and doesn't stray away, doesn't open
kitchen cabinets, etc. I do think that she naturally has a heart that desires to
please us, but I can't help but think that our persistent training had something
to do with it!
Yesterday my hubby and I were walking with our daughter and there was this
grandfather out in his yard and he told us that he was outside to take a break
from his grandkids b/c they were driving him nuts and into everything. He said
to us "Just wait until she's walking because she'll be into everything
too"....it was nice to be able to say that she is walking and we're doing
A big thank you to Elizabeth and the others that contribute to this site. You
have really made things so much easier for us new moms!!
I am thrilled to have found the Woodshed. When I came here I had well behaved
kids. We were the ones who got all the compliments. But mostly in our house
children were to be seen and not heard. Our favorite phrase was "Go
play." The part we *did not* get was the building of relationship with our
This was essential being that we moved into a very large house and now when we
told the kids to "go play" we could not see them nor hear them. If
things had continued to go on the way they were we would have lost our childrens'
hearts for sure. Our parenting consisted of spanking for offenses we never saw
based on what another child said and after sorting through all the stories. Then
we would send them on their way again. If we still had problems we would send
them to their rooms or to the corner. It was not *really* working to change
their heart. This became glaringly evident when I began tomato staking.
Wow! What an eye opener! I had no idea how bad my kids attitudes were or how
they were treating each other. I was exactly what every non-spanker thinks I am.
My kids obeyed out of fear, if they were not going to be caught they did what
they pleased. I was shocked!! Not *my* good kids!!
To be honest I was not excited about having the kids with me ALL THE TIME. As I
said, "go play" was our favorite phrase. What a paradigm shift for me.
My husband was *not* on board and I was on my own. Several times when he told
them to go play I went with them and said I had things to do upstairs. I was
exhausted for 2 weeks (but saw results in 24 hours). I did explain to him what I
was doing and he was a believer when he saw the difference. When we had less
spankings and more true repentance he was sold on the idea.
All in all my life is great. I enjoy, *enjoy*, ENJOY......did I say enjoy? my
kids (my husband does too!). I honestly love having them around. When people
question my "strict, controlling" parenting I say "Who is the one
who is crying and frustrated everyday by 3pm? Who is the one that can't wait
until 8pm bedtime? Who is the one who does not want anymore children?" It
is not me.
Thank you E!
From JubileeHouse (Our house is full of Jubilee and Noise with 6 girls.) :
It is really hard to find a rent house with 6 kids and a dog. We were looking
for a house closer to our new church so that we could be more available.
We found a house but the lady wanted to take applications for a couple of weeks
and "decide what would be best for the house". At that point, my
husband and I said "It's in God's hands".
Well the woman called me the very next morning. We got the house!! But here is
the funny part: She told us that another couple wanted it and offered more
for it, but their two children misbehaved the entire time they were there
looking at the house, and the parents never said anything to the kids.
(Misbehaving as in throwing rocks at each other on the porch near the front
windows, climbing on top of the cabinets...)
This woman told them that she could not rent out her house to them because she
was afraid the kids would tear up the house. So instead, she rented it to us and
our 6 kids, knowing after just a few minutes that our kids would not behave that
It is amazing how much difference your children's behavior makes in what people
From Tara in MD:
My two oldest boys have been pretty neglected since the birth of my third
child almost 5 weeks ago due to my rough recovery and the many doctor
appointments for my newborn. BUT.... they have handled it so well. We have had
little "problems" as one would with a 4 year old and 2 1/2 year old,
but for the most part they have been so awesome. They have been so helpful it
brings tears to my eyes.
Seriously, what could be cuter than:
~a 4 year old helping his 2 year old brother pull down his pants every few hours
so he can go potty,
~a 2 year old asking "Are you doing okay, momma?",
~both coming over to ask me to tell them what they can do to clean up
(unprompted!)- and then they spent 30 minutes JOYFULLY putting away laundry,
dishes, toys, etc. all on their own,
~playing with the same small box of duplo legos all week and not complaining one
bit even though all the neighbor children were out riding bikes, running through
sprinklers, etc. right outside our window,
~two little ones fixing their own lunch (yogurt and cookies-oh, well) and even
bringing some to me while I was resting on the sofa,
~and many more sweet moments.
Thanks Elizabeth for this site. I have witnessed firsthand how well trained
obedient children can be such a JOY and HELP even during difficult times. Who
says that little children are a burden...mine have been such an asset this past